But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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