are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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