I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
