So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
