Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
