..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
