yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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