I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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