The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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