Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
