Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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