Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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