This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Randomize
