It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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