Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
