That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
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It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
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And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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