If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You dont lie about slip and slides
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
