He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Im part way to drunk.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
