Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
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So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
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I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while