Texts From Last Night

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  (858): View more from California

  I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.

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  (858): I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star. http://tfl.nu/5mxp
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long

  (1-414): View more from Wisconsin

  aren't you going with children?

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  (414): can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long (1-414): aren't you going with children? http://tfl.nu/9f28
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.

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  (514): I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened. http://tfl.nu/bvmz
  Replies (154) Good night (463) Bad night (2644)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  You went to church with your boobs hanging out?

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.

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  (937): You went to church with your boobs hanging out? (978): Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well. http://tfl.nu/nomt
  Replies (22) Good night (6860) Bad night (1036)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up

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  (502): I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up http://tfl.nu/gsij
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy

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  (+61): I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy http://tfl.nu/e6l2
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  (587): View more from Alberta

  She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra

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  (587): She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra http://tfl.nu/6lbp
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  (658): View more from

  Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk

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  (658): Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk http://tfl.nu/a8a4
  Replies (5) Good night (2413) Bad night (718) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop

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  (217): She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop http://tfl.nu/g9k9
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him

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  (319): Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him http://tfl.nu/qb96
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.

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  (781): If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us. http://tfl.nu/xpf1
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  (567): View more from Ohio

  He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something

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  (567): He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something http://tfl.nu/zff9
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  (914): View more from New York

  The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.

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  (914): The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes. http://tfl.nu/xsso
  Replies (8) Good night (969) Bad night (318) Order T-Shirt
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  (530): View more from California

  Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me

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  (530): Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me http://tfl.nu/1ycp
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.

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  (708): Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store. http://tfl.nu/aft6
  Replies (0) Good night (261) Bad night (160) Order T-Shirt

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