Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
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