Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
