You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
