she woke up with a sticky ear
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
