Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize