Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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