He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I intend to get homeless drunk
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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