woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
