You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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