By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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