At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
