We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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