My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
