i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
