I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
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When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
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I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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