I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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