i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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