I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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