Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Randomize
