I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
