I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
