Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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