I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize