I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
