Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
