shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
smell my finger.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
