She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
