oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
