I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
