i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
