You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
