hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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