Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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