covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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