i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Randomize