she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
